


Parasite in blood

by Scarlet_Nin



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Allen's cursed eye works in funny ways, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, BAMF Allen Walker, Blood and Violence, Bookman Clan (D.Gray-man), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Horror, Humor, Injury, Insanity, Mana is extremely unstable, Memories, Mystery, Nea is Allen's imaginary friend but also very real, Nea is awesome, Nea is scary af but also a huge dork, Past Child Abuse, Promises, Secrets, Sharing a Body, Souls
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2019-06-17 04:31:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15453405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlet_Nin/pseuds/Scarlet_Nin
Summary: Maybe he spent too much time with that loony Clown and Red finally went crazy out of sheer frustration. Then again, he´s seen the Shadow of an imaginary friend before he´d met that eccentric man.Though Red still denies both, he´s neither crazy nor is that weird image a friend of his. He doesn´t need friends.Everyone else could just sod off.Or Neah and Allen meet earlier than expected and it messes everything up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Red hates the circus, he really does.  
> And when his own reflection and an unwanted addition is the only thing to bring him comfort even if he doesn´t admit it, that´s quite pathetic.  
> But people think he´s crazy anyway.

**Chapter 1 (Silent Ice)**

* * *

 

“Damn it! That stupid Clown, I hate them, all of them.”

His ribs were throbbing, perhaps a few of them were even cracked. His cheek was pink and swelled and he tasted the metallic bitterness known as blood on his tongue. How he hated that familiar taste almost as much as that abusive Jackass.

_Cosimov_. The good-for nothing tosser who he would love to see dead in a ditch somewhere. Always bearing down on him for not working fast enough, for not being good enough, for daring to bare his teeth and snarl back.

Red hated him with a burning passion he usually reversed for the world. But no matter how hard the man beat him up, how many times he punched him in the stomach and pulled his hair or made fun of his hand, hell would freeze over before he let someone like that break him.

He wasn´t broken, just bitter and angry at the unfairness of the cruel world he was living in. People were selfish, cruel and egoistical. All they cared about was their own gain, nothing else mattered.

He hated it—he hated _everything_.

“I know it was stupid, bugger off if ya aren´t gonna talk ta meh.”

“…”

Red narrowed his steely eyes at his reflection in the water. It was winter, but some delinquents had broken the ice on the nearby river and it had made the task of getting fresh water that much easier. He frowned at the smile set his way and crossed his arms.

“The mutt didn´t deserve it and ya know it, don´t look at meh like that.”

“…”

Darkly shining eyes stared back up at him. An unperturbed smile stretched across a pale young face with unruly and even darker hair a deep brown that reminded Red of the stark contrast of fresh coal on dark wood when they would light a bonfire. The eyes seemed to flicker like the flames never leaving his own and the damned Shadow was always watching him. Never looking away or blinking.

Red wondered if he was truly that interesting to look at and the corner of pale, white lips twitched upwards as if the Shadow knew what he was thinking.

“Fuck off.”

It had no right to stare at him like that, as if Red was the strange and weird one between them when itself wore clothing with ribbons and long coats that seemed sizes too big. He´d never seen clothing looking like that while traveling in the circus troop. The face in the water rippled when he touched the icy water with his right hand, his left securely hidden in his left pocket, before it smoothed out into the monochrome nightmare it was.

“Why can´t ya just go away? You´re annoying.”

One afternoon, when he dragged himself to a lake after bleeding into the snow to wash the dried blood off his face, he saw the phantom outline of a faceless figure with black holes as eyes staring back at him. He´d screamed, head pounding when a hand reached out for him and scrambled backwards, tripping over himself.

It was then that he realized the trees were white and there was a dark, creepy-grinning moon in the sky.

_“…l—en?”_

In a blink, he´d woken up with a harsh gasp, still lying exactly where that Bastard Clown had left him after the beating and hurried to stand up. Terror had gripped his heart when he crawled over to the river and looked into the water.

A looming figure standing right behind him, empty smile sewed shut with black lines against swirls of white. Red tried to ignore it´s existence for a full month, avoiding surfaces where his reflection would show up and it wasn´t too hard to forget it existed.

Until it turned into the smiling picture of a young man whose lips would occasionally move but Red couldn´t hear a thing.

It got annoying soon and Red wanted it to go away, he told it as much. The Shadow hadn´t answered, not that Red had expected it to nor did it vanish. He tried to get it to speak again anyway, but it never did answer and chalking it up as a hallucination didn’t work.

“I ain´t nuts. No matter what anyone else says, I ain’t crazy.”

Red mumbles, clenching his fist, spitting a mouthful of blood into the snow. His clothes were damp from sitting so long in the coldness, but he couldn´t bother to move, not with his body feeling so sore.

The nameless Shadow merely tilted his head.

People could call him what they want, monster, freak, abnormality, weirdo, cripple. He would admit that they held some truth, but if there was one thing he wasn´t, it was crazy.

Another glance at the silent face observing him from a frame of frozen ice and Red scowled harshly.

“I liked that mutt better than yer.”

As far as insults go, it was tame for someone with a temper like him. Shadow-man´s smile only widened and as much as the sight was creepy, it was also…kind of nice. To know he wasn´t all alone.

“Brat stop talkin’ ta yer imaginary friend and get yer useless arse movin’!”

“He ain´t mah friend, Bastard!” Red snapped back as he whirled around, standing up and brushing the snow of his clothes, before storming back towards the large tent. “Useless, hah! A slave I am, yer the lazy fatarse around here.”

Just another few years, then he could leave this hellhole of a nightmare. Silver flecked with purple misses the slight frown in the forgotten surface of frozen liquid.

A single crack appears in the remaining ice.


	2. The Importance of Identity

**Chapter 2 (The importance of identity.)**

* * *

 

Mana Walker was a strange man in Red´s opinion.

The man was obviously not right in the head as their meeting at the grave had showed. His dark humor needed improvement as did his jokes and acts, because trying to hang himself to be funny shortly after the death of a beloved pet wasn´t funny.

Red certainly hadn´t laughed.

Thought, they had hit it off in their own strange way and the man wasn´t so bad once one looked past his craziness and eccentric behavior in general. He never got mad at Red, only scolded him for using dirty words and not being polite—as if that would happen, they lived on the street for fuck´s sake! –and he never hit him. Heck, the man had even given him a _hug_ , which had caused quite the freak out and left Red ignoring the man for two hours after.

He didn´t like people touching him so suddenly.

Mana had been nice, kind and the perfect gentleman to him. So, if Red had to look past deranged smiles, confused mode swings as the man worked himself up into episodes—the first time it happened had been quite terrifying, since the man was his income at the moment, he couldn´t just walk into traffic like that! –and crazy talk, then he´d do so.

Because he couldn´t remember not hurting for so long. The Clown seemed insistent on Red smiling more often, on him being _happy_ and Red couldn´t deny he´d gotten a tiny little bit attached to the man who bewildered him.

It started when Red realized he wasn´t going to bed hungry or being forced to do labor work.

His chest started doing strange things and Mana had laughed and ruffled his hair when he told him about it even if Red had tried to bite his hand off.

There was only one person who didn´t like their situation.

“Stop sulking already!”

“Who are you talking to, Red?”

“I am talkin’ to the Shadow and he won´t stop lookin’ all torn and gloomy.”

Red glared at the reflection in the window at the inn they were currently resting in. It was getting dark soon, so they called it a night. Mana blinked his weird golden eyes at him as he came over to sit at the bed. The mattress dipped and Red suddenly leaned on the tall man.

The cold was the only reason he didn´t move away, Red reasoned with himself.

“Oh? Is he your friend? I had some of those back then. You should try to cheer him up if he´s sad. Maybe try to make some of those faces I showed you.”

“No way!” Red glanced upwards at the man to glare at him instead of the window. “I ain´t gonna make an idiot out of myself for him! They´re not even that funny.”

He added, because Mana´s disapproving stare made even him squirm. The man sighed, before perking up.

“What´s his name? Surely, he´s not called Shadow.”

Red blinked slowly. “Name? He doesn´t talk ta meh. How should I know what he´s called?”

“Everybody needs a name! Make him write it out for you in the air.”

“He´s never complained about meh callin’ him that.”

“Silly, if he can´t talk, he can´t complain, right? You need to ask him if he wants to be called that.”

Mana insisted, looking at the window eagerly, like he actually saw who Red was talking about. But that wouldn´t be possible. It was ironic, that the two of them found each other. One people called crazy and the other actually was insane. What a pair they made.

Still, Red wouldn´t give into an argument so easily, especially when he´s winning.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

Red gritted his teeth at the airy question. Sometimes, he wondered who the adult between them was. Mana didn´t act like one most of the time. Or dressed like one, Red thought as he eyed the top hat with scorn.

“Why is it so important ta yer if I ask him that? It´s not like anyone named him, so he shouldn´t care what I call him as long as I don´t insult him.”

“That´s so sad I could cry.”

“Don´t even start.”

Red threatened when the man wiped non-existent tears away from the corner of his eyes. The last time they had that drama the auburn-haired child was ready to tear his hair out. Mana sniffled pitifully, before his eyes narrowed at Red.

The child instantly sat up straighter, backing up slightly at the glint in those amber eyes. It usually spelled trouble for him.

“You poor child.” Mana cooed and Red twitched. “A name is important because it tells you who you are. It´s the first gift of life that will always hold a treasure in your heart. Now that I think about it, Red isn´t a name either is it?”

“I thought we´re talkin’ about him?”

“About who?”

“About the—”

Red cuts himself off at the board smile Mana gives him and throws up his right hand in the air from exasperation. He turns around to face the pale face staring back at him and his face sours as he crosses his arms.

“Do ya have a name?”

The young man nods, unblinking eyes fixed on Mana´s tall form instead of him and Red makes a noise of surprise, scowl wiped from his face.

“Well, that´s…nice I guess.” He wasn´t jealous that a part of his imagination had a name while Red himself, didn´t have one.

“Want meh ta call ya something different? It´s not like ya can tell meh yer name…”

He breathes out a sigh of relief at the shake of the head he gets, turning back to face Mana.

“See? He doesn´t give a damn.”

“Language, Allen!”

“What? I ain´t yer dog.”

“Of course not.”

Mana agrees, and Red is startled at the sudden clearness in his eyes. The moments were far and few lately, when the man seemed to see without his delusion about the fat man who would come to get him if he griefs. The clown did have some strange perspective of Santa Clause that Red hadn´t managed to break just yet.

“Otherwise, you wouldn´t have these cute clothes I bought for you. You look so cute in them and while you do bite and bark, you don´t play fetch with me. The name seems to fit you so well, why don´t you ask your friend, Mister Shadow, if he agrees?”

“You´re kidding meh.”

Red snorted when Mana pointed at the window, deciding to let the comment about his cuteness pass in favor of enjoying the warmth spreading through his chest. Rolling his eyes, Red fiddled with his limp hand in his lap and frowned.

“Think ta name Allen suits meh?”

Not that it mattered much, Mana could call him whatever he liked and Red would accept it. He´s got a roof over his head most days, a meal in his stomach at least twice a day and there´s no disgust in those golden eyes which had taken to hold onto his left hand.

A feat nobody had done.

“…”

Shadow´s lips tighten into a thin line, a sliver of emotion in those cool eyes that Red only saw once or twice when he bothered to look and if he didn´t know it better, he´d say the Shadow seemed wary and…

Sad.

Red´s chest twisted at the thought.

Slowly, it´s eyes darting between him and Mana, the young man only Red could see inclined his head.

“Fine, you win.”

“Wonderful!” Mana cheered, clapping his hands before he reached out to pull Red—Allen into his lap. The boy began to shriek and protest as he was smothered in an embrace and reluctantly returned it, eyeing the twisted set of lips in foggy glass.

“Yer suffocating meh!”

“Nonsense, it´s called love, Allen. You can never get enough of that.”

“I can´t breathe, gimme a break, shitty Clown.”

The laughter from Mana was light and airy, happy in a way some of his smiles hadn´t been and for some reason, Allen felt complied to join in as snow began to fall and they were a tangled mess of limbs in a dim-lit, dirty inn room in one of the worst parts in London.

Allen couldn´t help but think it was one of his happiest moments in life even if it was a corny thought.

Another part of him wished it would last forever. Just Mana and him, and perhaps even the weird presence of Shadow.


	3. The glow of Happiness

**Chapter 3 (The glow of happiness)**

* * *

 

_“How much longer do we hav’ ta walk?”_

_“Just a while longer, Allen.”_

_“But we´ve walked for hours!”_

_Allen puffed out his cheeks, reaching out to fiddle with the ends of his much shorter hair now. Mana had insisted they´d have to cut of the ends, because the strands had split ends and he could try to grow out his hair again if he wanted to. It felt weird and chillier in the winter and Shadow hadn´t liked the hair cut either, from the way his lips tugged downwards slightly._

_“I know, I know, but as soon as we are in the next town, we will eat a large dinner. Doesn´t that sound nice? There would be a bed to sleep in too, my boy.”_

_“Fine, but can´t we walk a bit slower? Yer almost left meh behind an hour ago.”_

_“But if we don´t hurry there will be no room left for us to pay for and all the inns will be closed! Why don´t we play a little game? I spot—”_

_“The only thing around us are snow and trees covered in snow. I don´t think playing that stupid game is gonna work right now.”_

_“Don´t be such a spoil sport, Allen! It´s the thought that counts, you need to enjoy the little things in life too.”_

_Mana says, swinging their connected hands—he makes sure to always hold onto Allen´s left hand for some reason and the cold doesn´t feel so harsh against his skin anymore –whistling loudly, smiling all the way._

_Allen scowls, but lets the man do as he pleases as he tries to keep up with the large strides._

_“Why don´t you play a game with your friend? He must be lonely if you give all your attention to me.”_

_“I told ya, he´s only around when I can look at mah reflection.”_

_“Then you must talk to him before going to bed when we are in the next town. It´s no good to ignore your friends, you´ll hurt their feelings. I had a friend once. He had auburn hair too. He was nice. Very nice, I haven´t talked to him in quite some time. Do you think he might miss me?”_

_Allen swallowed, tightening his grip on the calloused hand at the far away look in amber eyes. He fought to keep his voice steady, letting it take on a more soothing tone and easing his scowl into a blank expression._

_“I am sure he does, Mana.”_

_“I sure hope so. I miss him. I miss a lot of people. But this is pleasant too, because I have you here by my side. It´s going to be fine, we´ll find him soon. Then we will be happy together. All of us. Like family is supposed to be.”_

_“Right.” He agrees awkwardly, trying to force a smile on his face, because he fears Mana might begin to cry if he doesn´t, but trips on a stone or a clump of ice. His hand slips out of Mana´s grip and he´s barely fallen into the snow before arms pick him up and he finds himself on a warm back._

_“Wha…? Lemme down! Stupid Clown, this is embarrassing!”_

_“I am sorry, you must be tired. You can rest now, Allen, I will wake you up for dinner.”_

_“But I am not tired!”_

_He stopped pushing himself away from the comfy back, soaking up the offered warmth with a small sigh, the vibrations from the amused chuckles making him poke the man irritated in the shoulder._

_In a minute, he was fast asleep to the gentle humming of a song long forgotten._

**_I didn´t think I´d ever be this happy…_ **

_“I got you something!”_

_In hindsight, Allen should have known whatever had Mana this giddy and had to do with fashion was going to be a nightmare. The man´s ridiculous top hats had been on the end of his more vicious temper tantrums which Mana seemed to take as a personal insult to his person._

_So, it was no surprise that his theory was proven correct when the man pulled out the most hideous thing from behind his back, beaming like the sun._

_“No.”_

_“But Allen!”_

_“No.”_

_The auburn-haired boy refused flatly eyeing the piece of clothing like it would bite him if he came to close and trying to make it burst into flames with his glare alone. It was a checkered hooded jacket and a matching skirt in bright blue and red colors._

_Mana´s sniffle was startling loud in the room—they were in Wales, getting ready for another show after Allen finally let himself be talked into joining the man in his acts a few months ago._

_“No, Mana.”_

_The bottom lip began to wobble, eyes going watery and Allen knew it was an act. It was obvious, but Mana´s crushed expression pulled at his heart strings and he felt himself wavering the longer he stared._

_“I will not—stop that!”_

_Allen stomped his foot on the ground, glaring sullenly when the man whimpered like Allen had kicked his puppy or something and he eyed the costume again. Aware of the crinkling laughter in glistering dark eyes that observed the scene from the window. Why the room had no curtains was still a mystery._

_“Fine, I will wear the stupid thing, just stop crying, god damned it.”_

_A few more curses left his mouth, and he hated how little he regretted agreeing to this when Mana swept him up in a hug after he snatched the costume away._

_“Thank you, Allen! Hurry along and get changed, we will have a show ready in half an hour.”_

_“Yeah, stop nagging me already.”_

_It takes him fifteen minutes to change into the costume alone, since it´s hard if you can only use one hand. He storms out of the bathroom with no mirrors or windows and feels utterly humiliated when Mana comes to crouch by him, tugging his jacket together._

_“I look stupid!”_

_“It´s fine, you´re very cute.”_

_“But I wanna be a cool clown! Gimme a break.”_

_Allen tugs and squishes Mana´s cheeks, who coos over him and feels his face flush to the same shade of his hair and scowls fiercely. He narrows his eyes at the shaking shoulders of the Shadow and that has to be the most emotional reaction he´s gotten out of it._

_“Quit laughing, ya Bastard! It ain´t that funny!”_

_“Now, now Allen. That wasn´t nice, I am not a Bastard.”_

_“I wasn´t talking ta yer! All right, get out of the glass, tosser, I will punch that smug smile outa yer face!”_

_Shadow was grinning, eyes smiling as Mana pulled him away from the windows, fondly looking down on him as he grabbed his right hand. The lady at the inn wouldn´t take it too well if Allen shattered her windows because of his temper._

_“Property damage isn´t how a young gentleman should behave, Allen, please refrain from creating bills to pay. You might want to draw on the glass with a washable marker.”_

_“…”_

_“Pardon?”_

_“I said I can´t reach high enough ta draw on his face—just wait. I will hit mah grow-spurt and then I will be taller than ya.”_

_Allen smirked at the Shadow, who raised a slender brow, before following Mana out of the room. They had money to earn if he wanted to destroy the room._

**_I should have known better. It was too perfect, too surreal. I feel so alone now._ **

_“Very good, Allen. Now, this symbol is drawn like this—it´s very important that you don´t forget it. It´s our score.”_

_“Can it be Shadow´s score too, Mana?”_

_The stick feels heavy in his hand, fingertips pink from the long exposure in the cold. His eyes fall to the circle with long and abstract markings in the snow. Mana looks thoughtful for a moment and Allen hums the melody they just created when he gets a reply._

_“If you want it to. I am sure he must be special and he´s been with us all this time, right? Then it´s okay.”_

_“Yeah, he´s always been there…”_

_Allen doesn´t know when he accepted the fact that he´s insane, but he certainly doesn´t mind. Not when it means he gets to spent his days with Mana´s warm hugs and silly jokes and Shadow´s reluctant amusement at their antics._

_He´s more shocked that Mana remembers who Shadow is, because there are weeks, where he simply stares ahead, eyes glassy while Allen quietly talks to his reflection. He asks who Allen is speaking with and he´s at loss for words because he´s afraid it means Mana will forget him too eventually._

_On better days, Mana asks Allen´s reflection how it´s doing and waits for Allen to translate and Shadow looks kind of wistful and Allen doesn´t know why Shadow appears to hold himself back from showing any kind of emotion when Mana is near._

_He´s not sure what to make of most, but it´s all right, because now, they all have something to make them remember their shared time._

_“That´s good. It means there´s someone else looking out for you and I don´t have to worry about my cute little son getting lost.”_

_“Mana, that was one time!”_

_“Yes, and you gave me quite the scare.”_

_Allen pouts, trying not to think back to that incident. He´d lost sight of Mana who wandered ahead and was pulled along in a crowd of people. As soon as he noticed that he couldn´t find his father, he began to call his name._

_When a man tried to snatch him from the streets, he bites him and runs, until eventually, Mana rounded the corner, looking sickly pale in the dim street lights. The man had backed off then, because Mana´s glare and unhinged look could scare people off faster than the disgust at seeing his deformed hand could when they weren´t used to one or the other._

_Allen always wondered why people were afraid of Mana, when he´d been so kind. He´d never been scared of Mana, only afraid **for** him and that are two entirely different things._

_He´d gotten an earful of a lecture of not disappearing and clung to the man´s side for two weeks because Mana had looked so fearful when he pulled Allen into a hug and it made the boy guilty for scaring him._

_He knew Mana had abandonment issues._

_“I never did it again, it wasn´t even on purpose. You know I´d never leave you willingly, Mana, I love you!”_

_“And I love you, my son. Now let´s practice it again.”_

_“Okay.”_

_And he draws the symbol again and again until it´s burned into his blurry memory, so that he won´t ever forget it just like Mana´s eyes and smile. His fingers are achingly numb and he´s sure he´s got splinters in one finger at least, but he still draws until he physically can´t hold onto the stick anymore._

_Mana smiles at him and it makes him feel warm and fuzzy at the proud edge to it and he eagerly reaches up to grip the offered hand with his left one despite the tingling pain in his arm. Mana´s thumb rubs soothing circles onto the deformed red skin as he gently tugs him down the road._

_This, Allen thinks, is what happiness feels like. And it´s addicting._

**_What am I supposed to do now, that you´re no longer here?_ **

_“MANA!”_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 (Tears in the Gift)**

* * *

 

_Blood is painting half of his face a deep red and the sky is dark. The coldness of the grave stone behind his back seeps into his bones just like the snow surrounding him. His left arm twitches violently and everything around him feels empty._

_Utterly void of life as he blankly stares at the white of untarnished snow._

_It´s unfair, that it looks so pretty when nothing should. Mana was gone, dead—I **killed** him, I am a monster like they always said –never to return and nothing had the right to look beautiful. Allen was all alone again, sitting in a lonely graveyard where the last person to care about him—the only person, was buried six feet under._

_Allen felt hollow, crushed in a pile of grief, never to see the surface again. His vision was blurry, from tears, blood and he´s waiting for death to take him. He has nothing left, nobody to care anymore._

_“—wake. Allen.”_

_The voice who calls out to him is deep, but soothing. It makes his heart ache in melancholy and nostalgia before it coaxes him to raise his hung head from his chest. It takes effort, but he felt compelled to glance upwards for reasons unknown._

_He just wants to die._

_“You are not alone.”_

_His right eye widens, as much as the swelling allows anyway, and Allen is stuck breathless at the sight in front of him. His mind works slower now, from blood loss or shock, so the words don´t sink in right away. All he can stare at is the head of unruly messy hair that sticks up weirdly in some places—it´s one of the darkest colors he´s seen and amber-golden eyes—they look so much like Mana´s it hurts—stare right back at him through wavy bangs._

_The man kneels in front of him, cream-colored overcoat worn over a dress shirt and a dark vest and Allen promptly bursts back into tears even though he was sure, they had all dried up now._

_“You…you are…”_

_“Always keep walking, never stop. You promised.”_

_“He´s gone…”_

_His voice cracks pitifully and the man´s eyes—it hurts to look at them, but he can´t tear his eyes away –soften before they iced over. He moves as if to touch Allen´s bloody mess of an eye, but his hand hovers and falls back to his side._

_“Not completely. He would not want you to waste away in this pathetic way.”_

_The man smiles, but it´s sharp and deadly looking and even more cold than the numbness and cold of winter put together._

_“I should know. I have always been here by your side after all and that won´t change. Until the day I die, I will stay by your side.”_

_Allen has no answer to the words and when he blinks, the man is gone and in his place is a vibrant picture of black and fiery scarlet. Gold catches his vision and the man speaks, offering him a place, a purpose, to become an Exorcist._

_If he refuses, it´d be over. He´d die here on this lonely, cold night with nobody to mourn his death. The Earl would not show up because there is no person to grief enough to force him to make an appearance. Maybe he´d even see Mana again._

_A flash of amber eyes, two smiles, one promise and the cruel laugh of the person who dared to play with his pure love for his Father appear in his fuzzy mind and he doesn´t reach out to grab the hand of the strange man because of what he offered._

_He just wanted to live another day. To hold his promise and to see if reality is just another delusion._

_As soon as his fingers touch the hand, he blacks out._

Allen Walker is the embodiment of a child of war. Broken, traumatized and insane, not to mention creepy.

The first three were a given, the last one was a surprise. Though, most broken children appeared to creep people out and Cross was not an exception, not with those silvery purple eyes so void of a will of life that it made him swear off to eat dead fish ever again.

Nothing he tried with the kid seemed to work, he was an empty shell and Cross had finally exploded and told him it was war, people died all the time, he had to get over it or else, he´d only drag down anyone else.

Mother had not been pleased.

But to everyone´s surprise, the words had effect. Even if Allen spoke like Mana, even if his smiles came up emptily and full of nothingness like those creepy dolls in china with their porcelain skin, it was more progress than Cross had ever hoped for.

Seeing as the brat was living and not dead, a job that had not been easy, Cross took him to travel and to train him. The first month went well, until he caught the brat talking to thin air like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Brat, who the fuck are you talking to?”

Forget a glass of wine, he´d need a full bottle per day if this was going to be a thing. At first, Cross had his suspicion that it was the Fourteenth, but that made no sense. His charge talked randomly at times, and actually looked like he stared at the person he addressed.

If the Fourteenth was awake, he´d waste no time in possessing the kid.

“It´s nothing, Master.”

“Bullshit. I asked you a question, brat, so give me an answer because I don´t ask nicely twice nor do I repeat myself.”

Allen´s eyes darted to the corner of the room, Timcampy sitting contently on his head, chewing on a piece of hair, as he played with his hands. Just as Cross was ready to take out Judgement—patience was not his forte, he was the adult here and while the kid had a death wish, it wouldn´t kill him, so Cross was free to shot him and end the part of his deal, when the kid spoke.

“He´s a …friend.”

“Does this invisible friend of yours have a name?”

The eyes glance once again towards the same spot and Cross frowns.

“No. But he gives good advice and comforted me about the death of…of Mana. He made me realize that I need to keep my promise and that I can´t give up just yet.”

Fantastic, the brat created an imaginary friend who gave him hugs and words of encouragement. Because that´s what he needed. And here Cross thought he´d actually motivated the kid back from depression.

At least he was sure that it wasn´t the Fourteenth now. Why comfort the host you would later on kill to get the body from?

“And your … _friend_ is currently inside this room?”

“Yes, he´s standing over there.”

Allen answers, pointing dutifully at the empty corner of the room and Cross let out a long-suffering groan as he sunk into the couch, longing for a bottle of expensive, high-alcohol percent wine and a cigarette.

He rubbed his forehead, cursing Mana for rubbing of his craziness on the brat he was forced to raise now. This wasn´t how he thought his life would turn out. At least the war can´t damage the kid more than it already has. It doesn´t get any worse than being insane and cursed with a fate like that. He takes small comfort in the fact that few people remained completely sane in this war and it might come as an advantage for the kid.

“Master? Are you all right?”

“Yes.” _No._ “If you have time to ask useless question go out and make yourself useful in getting me alcohol and a bit of money. We´re leaving in the morning. And take your friend with you.” _I can´t deal with this right now._

“Fine.”

When the door closes, it´s a short-lived relief and if he tries to repress the last ten minutes, nobody has to know, because Timcampy isn´t cable of recording him in his misery since he´s making sure the brat gets back without getting lost.

If he had any luck, he´d die of alcohol poisoning.

The next few weeks are an utter disaster. The kid talks randomly, ignoring the fact that people give them weird looks and when Cross asks him to stop in public, the kid gets oddly defensive. It would be cute if it wasn´t so messed up. He decidedly blames the older twin for this problem, because if the kid wasn´t so used to being labeled as crazy and talking to invisible people, then they wouldn´t have this problem right now.

It only gets worse when they face an Akuma for the first time.

Allen loses his shit one minute into the fight and is a screaming mess on the floor. Cross easily kills the Level 1 before he puts Judgement away and walks over to the bawling child, who´s busy trying to keep his breakfast inside it seems.

Before Cross has any time to form words, the kid starts talking to thin air, mumbling and the terror in his eyes is unmistakably. He picks out a few words as the invisible help for parenting apparently calms the brat down enough to breath between his sobs. It´s a small victory that Allen hasn´t worked himself into hyperventilation.

It should be impossible for someone to have this bad luck and to be screwed over by indirectly the same person in so many different ways, but he world was a cruel place.

“Kid…you´re the unluckiest person alive.”

Is what Cross eventually says and Allen doesn´t look comforted by his words one bit, so Cross does something he´s never thought he´d do. He gets down on one knee and pulls the kid close into an uncomfortable one-armed hug.

It´s the pity he feels, mixed with a small part of empathy for the blotched, sniveling child cowering at the ground with big glassy eyes and torn up hands from his fall and the fresh scar a stark contrast against ashen skin that makes him act like that.

Cross not good with kids or words, he´s a bitter man who´s seen too much, carries too much around with himself and has a walk-in closet filled to the brim with skeletons better left alone, but he´s also an impulsive man whose actions speak louder than any words of science or bluntness ever could.

Allen beings to shake again and by the time he´s finished he´s cried himself to sleep and Cross carries him home without complaint, because this is his life now. Timcampy curls up next to the kid, tail warped around his waist and the sight brings a small smile to his face.

The next few months are easier to deal with. Allen trains, he earns money, rarely complains and talks to his hallucination. Timcampy is the one who reminds him if he forgets to feed the brat enough food instead of the human being who could tell him that verbally. Still, it´s almost peaceful if Cross wasn´t as competitive.

It´s the honest reactions Allen shows glimpses of that interests the man. Occasionally, Allen´s lips would quirk up unwillingly or he´d smile without noticing it while speaking with his hallucination and while Cross was glad there was a personality hidden underneath the fake politeness after all, it bothered him in equal measurement.

He was _not_ losing to an imaginary friend that the insane mind of his stupid apprentice managed to conjure in terms of getting a possible reaction out of the kid.

Cross did anything he could think of that would piss his student off. Shove his debts onto the kid, be rough on him with training and trivial tasks, exasperating his behavior to the point he knew his apprentice would explode and he got rewarded.

Allen started to get mouthier with time, cheeks flushing with anger and his reactions were…fun. Cross almost dared to call them cute after spending two years and ten months together. So, while the ghost managed to bring out the smiles from the kid, _Cross_ managed to get the exciting heat back into the passive shell of the once bottled Volcano of a child.

He took great pride in that and it became his new favorite past time hobby.

“Idiot apprentice, go and get me more wine and meet up with that Indian kid while you are at it. You need more _real_ friends, who people can actually _see_ instead of talking to the nameless ghost who follows you around. You might also want to avoid telling people you can see the souls of dead people and for god´s sake, don´t get into more trouble this week.”

“Yes, master.”

While it had been fun to shot at his apprentice to improve his speed and dodging skills, it hadn´t been a pleasant surprise to see his idiot stumble in through the door with black stars all over his body because he´d been too slow—"I was caught by surprise!” –to avoid getting shot by Akuma.

The door was shut and Cross relaxed, eyeing a few of the more curvier dancers near him. This might get him some time off to burn off some steam.

Knowing Allen, he´d have two hours at most.


	5. Connection

**Chapter 5 (Connection.)**

* * *

 

“Narain? Where are you?”

The silence was discomforting and Allen couldn´t help but a have a bad feeling about this. There was no one coming to greet him in the small house, the siblings had owned near the palace—a luxury given from a noble because of their good work as they had told him. After hearing no answer, Allen reached out to push at the door and found it unlocked.

_“The scent of Grief is in the air.”_

“Oh no…you don´t think Mina…?”

_“Either she or her brother has perished, I am afraid. This seems like a pain to me, you should just turn around.”_

“Absolutely not!” Allen narrowed his eyes at the man just a step behind him, who´s hands were hidden in his pocket. “You didn´t leave me alone when I was sad, did you?”

_“That´s different.”_ The man argued back. _“It can´t even compare—humans are just such a pain to deal with.”_

“I am human too.”

_“No, you´re not. The fact that you were cursed is not relevant in this conversation.”_

“Sometimes, I liked it better when you weren´t cable of talking.”

Allen ignores the offended noise behind him as he stops in front of a wooden door. He lightly rasps his knuckles against the wood and opens it when there is once again silence. The amber-eyed man sighs but makes no further comment when Allen´s steps into the room.

“Narain…”

“She´s gone…big sister is gone…”

“I am truly sorry for your loss.”

The ginger-haired boy continues to ramble dazedly, sitting beside the bed and clutching the hand of his sister, who´s body was spread out in the bed. Allen silently moves towards the boy, sitting down besides him, but being careful not to separate the two.

He knew what it felt like to wish for closure from the person you loved the most.

It was only because it meant certain death that Allen had let himself be moved away from that grave.

“She´s dead. I couldn´t help her. She´s gone, never to dance again and there is no book of medicine which tells me how to get her back…”

_“This is just what he is waiting for. You can´t help him anymore, it´s a lost cause, Allen.”_

“There is no way to bring her back, Narain, you need to accept that she´s no longer in this world.”

Pointedly ignoring what the unruly haired dark man said, making him press his lips together and turn away, Allen reached out to lay a hand onto a tanned arm. Narain tensed up, glassy, swollen eyes not tearing away from the unmoving face of his sister.

Mina was a beautiful girl, dark brown hair the color of chocolate spread out on the pillow, long-lashes kissing her pale cheeks which had flushed in happiness while dancing at the palace. Exactly his Master´s type if she had been a few years older, but there was a hollowness to her body which showed the sickness she had been plagued with.

“What´s the point of studying medicine if I can´t even cure my sister? It´s pointless…if she isn´t by my side. Mina…please come back.”

“She´s not coming back, Narain. Nothing in this world can bring the Mina you knew back.”

“Shut up! What are you doing here?! Leave me alone.”

“I can´t do that.” Allen winced when a fist knocked him side-ways, lips split and mouth throbbing.

_“Grief has driven him mad, you know what will happen. Nobody will question it if they find both siblings in bed one as dead as the other.”_

“I am not bashing his skull in, so be quiet.”

_“Suit yourself.”_

The man gave a dismissive wave of his hand as Allen hisses and Narain doesn´t seem to realize what he´d just had done. His friend who swore an oath to never harm, only to heal, had punched him square in the face. At least, he´d let go of the stiff, icy hand of his sister.

“Narain…I am going to tell you a…a story, okay? But you need to listen to the end before you come to a conclusion. Afterwards, I will give you two options which you can chose from and you alone will decide if you want to see me again. Can you do that? Listen to me until the end?”

“Nothing matters, just go away.”

“There was once a boy…a boy who was all alone and hardened from the world. He met a man who took him in, cared for him and showed him the joys of life. This man had been the first person to treat this boy with kindness and due to their closeness, they became father and son and traveled around the world for a bit. The boy loved the man more than anything.”

Allen begins quietly, head hung low, bangs shielding his eyes. He wasn´t sure if Narain was listening but he had to try anyway.

_“You are giving out information just like that? You can´t do that.”_

“Because even if the boy was rude, violent and an abnormality, the man loved him. The boy learnt how to smile, to appreciate the feeling of a hug and had someone who showed him there was more to life than suffering and pain. Both weren´t perfect, the man was mentally unstable, but they were family and for them it _was_ perfect. But then…the man died, and the boy was all alone again. There was nobody to love and get love in return anymore. The man, who had named the boy, was gone and the disappear was unbearable. So, the boy grieved.”

_“Now would be the time to stop talking. Cross will have your head.”_

“There is a man who comes to visit those drowning in their sorrow. He wears a top-hat and has a grin so wide it splits his face in half. He is the maker of the Akuma, the Creator, the Millennium Earl. He will come to you in your time of disappear and offer you the chance to bring back the soul of your loved ones.”

“That means—Mina! She can come back! She´s not lost—”

Allen cuts him off harshly, when Narain grips his shoulders. The desperation on the boy´s voice making him sick.

“But everything comes at a price. The Earl offered the boy to bring his Father back and in his grief the boy accepted. What did he have to lose? However, there are two prices the Earl hadn´t told him about one. One, was that the soul would have to kill you to wear your skin and that it would be forever chained to an existence of suffering by serving the Earl´s every back and call. So, the Father tried to kill the boy whose hopes had been crushed in the name of the Earl. But the boy had a thing called Innocence, which kills all Akuma, in his arm. It activated and killed his Father, who cursed him due to the suffering the boy caused him in calling him back.”

Narain blinked slowly, face sickly pale and hands trembling in his lap as they slid of his shoulder. Allen smiled hollowly as he reached up to brush bangs from his forehead to reveal a bright red star.

“This curse gives the boy the ability to see the souls of Akuma, of those people which were called back to be a weapon of the cruel Millennium Earl to ensure he frees the suffering souls from their fate at the hands of their Creator. The souls are rotten, chained to a machine wearing human skin. Their flesh is burnt and they´re always crying. So, while the soul may come back—it´s not really the person who it was before. The only people who can save the souls and give them peace while freeing them from the Earl´s control are people called Exorcists. I am the boy, Narain, who does not care about the rules of secrecy an Exorcist needs to follow because I have never regretted anything more than that faithful day I made the biggest mistake in my life.”

“It…she won´t be my sister? Even if I were to…?”

“No,” Allen says merciless, but not unkind. “one of you will day and the little part left of her soul will shatter from the guilt of having killed her little brother.”

“How do I know you aren´t telling me a lie? You´re insane, you´re just toying with me.” Narain snarls, pulling back and Allen frowns.

“I am not lying—”

“Liar! You´re cruel, telling me all this. A dirty liar who went crazy. Who made up a story to feel better about his deformity. The man you spoke off is just as much of a lunatic as you—"

Narain doesn´t get to finish his sentence as a hand warps around his throat and lift him up. His head hits the wall and he chokes on a wince of pain to stare down into steely eyes of silvery purple.

“Don´t ya dare speak of Mana like that! I will kill ya.”

“Can´t... breathe…”

“I won´t let anyone tarnish his memory. Not you, not even the Earl _himself_.”

Allen growls out, teeth bared, left hand trembling as Narain´s hands came up to tug at his wrist. He takes in a deep breath at the wild startled baby blue eyes staring at him—Mana looked like then whenever he came out of an episode—and slowly Allen´s grip slackens until he pulls away.

Narain slides down the wall, knees shaking as he gingerly touches his neck where finger prints in a faint pink marked tanned skin.

“You have two options. The first one is, I will stay here with you, comfort you through your grief. Or you tell me to go and I won´t bother you again. I can´t waste time while you wallow in self-pity. It´s war, people die every day, I have a purpose and a mission.”

_“And don´t you ever forget that. Even if you could have handled this better than repeating the words of Cross of all people. He has never been the most…eloquent with words.”_

“It´s the truth I am telling him, Neah, and I am not going to stop walking because he can´t see that he´s needed as well.”

_“I told you not to call me that in presence of people.”_

Neah´s smile is wiped off his face, leaving ambers eyes burning into his head, hands on his hips and Allen adverts his eyes to the faint silver string connecting the two of them. It glisters and glows a bit, looking frail with it´s thin tread. Therefore, it should have been easy to break, but no matter how far Neah strayed from him, it held on strong and indestructible.

_“It cannot be broken nor served. Only death can break it.”_

“It was a slip of tongue. It won´t happen again.”

_“It better not happen again until I give you permission.”_

“How?”

“Huh?”

Narain cleared his throat, rubbing the tender skin a few times as he sat up straighter.

“How can I be of use for anyone? The only talent I had was with medicine…but I couldn´t even cure her. I can´t study it anymore. I am a failure.”

Allen balled his hands into fist, standing up, scowl on his face.

“If you can´t study medicine for her anymore…then study it _because_ of her.”

“What?”

Narain´s head snapped up, tear streaks and snot running down his nose. The confusion in those eyes made Allen´s heart clench.

“Do you want to give up and leave others to the same fate? For another family to lose a child or a brother or a sister because you stopped researching? You might not have managed to save her, but you´re still so _young_ and full of potential. Would you have wanted for her to stop dancing if you were to one to die?”

Silence met his words and he reached out a gloved hand.

“It´s your choice. To keep walking or to stop. All I am giving you is a chance. I can´t force you to take it.”

They stand and sit there respectively for what seems like hours until Narain hesitantly reaches out and takes the offered hand. Allen smiles, a fleeting, small sincere smile as he pulls him up and into an embrace as Narain cries for a dear and loved sister lost to war.

When Allen turns to glance at the corner of the room, there is nobody but them inside the room aside from Mina´s corpse and he´s surprised to see that he´s given a form of …privacy from the person who´s been at his side for as long as his fuzzy memory can think back to.

He drags Narain out of the room into the hallway, because sitting in a room with the body of your dead sister couldn´t be healthy for the mind and lets him grief.

“It´s not going to stop hurting but…you´re not alone.”

And in Allen´s mind, that makes all the difference.


	6. The Shadowy Silk Part 1

**Chapter 6 (The Shadowy Silk Part 1)**

* * *

 

_“That was very responsible of you to leave the dead weight behind.”_

“It´s better this way, it´s not like Master hasn´t put me through hell after making fun of me for dragging Narain into this mess and the money had been a bit of a problem. Stupid Master. Also, Narain was not a burden. He fixed me up when I got hurt, remember.”

_“You only got hurt because he was in the way. You don´t need him.”_

“You´re not a people person at all.” Allen sniffs the air, smelling the sweetness of pastries from across the streets. A quick count on the money proved to be disappointing.

Neah, who had his arms crossed above his chest, standing beside him in the busy streets and looking completely out of place with his clothes, only gave him a tight-lipped smile. He usually was out and looking like a real person for Allen to see with the silver cord connecting them. Though, there were days were he simply vanished, and Allen had to look into a reflecting surface to see him.

_“Are you?”_

“Not really, at least, I am not being mean about it. He even tried to talk to you a few times, though, he´s convinced I am insane. That´s …not the polite thing to do, but he tried, and it gets him brownie points from me. Speaking of brownies, think I could try to weasel one out from the nice elderly lady at that bakery?”

_“I am only honest. I prefer to speak to the person of my choosing rather than some human brat who thinks I am a split personality of yours or some hallucination that your traumatized mind produced. I say go for it, since geezers are a sucker for cute faces. Well, everyone but Cross. At least, in terms of specific gender.”_

“All right, I will try, but we have to think of something, because talking to you out loud is…uncomfortable for other people. It makes me look bad and insane cute people aren´t as effective in coaxing out food of people. Think you can think of something to solve our little problem in the future?”

Allen skips over to the bakery window, easily finding his way to the crowd by going on his nose as Timcampy nuzzled his hair.

“Wait, how old is Master anyway? He looks young. Also, you´re using a more…youthful speech than me, what´s up with that? Ow! Yes, you will get part of the food, Tim, just stop tugging.”

He reaches up to pet the Golem who snuggles against his fingers happily and he sees Neah lean back onto the ball of his feet to stare up at the sky. The bell chimes when he pushes the door open, Neah simply passing through it like a ghost and he smiles shyly at the busty woman with the grey bun and stained apron behind the counter.

_“Looks can be deceiving.”_ Neah hums, sighing when Allen´s lower lib began to wobble as he pleaded with the woman. _“You´re the one talking like a man in his mid-forties in one moment and speaking like a little kid the next when you want something. And don´t sass me, young man, I am indirectly seven thousand years old.”_

“What?! You´re kidding!” Allen choked on his piece of bread as he left the bakery, people jumping and giving him dirty looks for his outburst at thin air. He ignores them with practiced ease. “You´re pulling my leg here.”

Timcampy chomps down on his part of the bread with sharp teeth and Neah runs a hand through his hair as he points at the Golem.

_“You don´t need food to survive, I know, because I made you, Tim. You know he´s a parasite type, don´t go and eat him broke.”_

Tim tries to bite the chiding finger waving in front of him and Neah pulls it back quickly despite the fact that it wouldn´t have hurt him since he doesn´t have a physical body. Allen´s lip twitch upwards at the antics as they resume walking through the streets.

“So, what now? You told me it´d be a bad idea to head straight to the Order. What was your superb plan, oh old and wise one?”

That got him a roll of eyes. _“We already established our goal—to kill the Earl. You want to save a few Akuma souls on the way, you have the weapon for that, you don´t need a house full of snobby blockheads trying to sent you on suicide missions. Don´t even get me started on the Vatican. We´ll travel around a bit at first, since it´ll piss of Cross. Knowing you, we´re stuck searching forever, thankfully we have Tim for that. We don´t need anyone else in our group, but there are a few advantages of the Order we could exploit. Food for one. Bookman is most likely to be there as well.”_

“Right. Okay, so you told me there was little chance they´d let me go if they found me since parasite types are rare and all, so what are we going to do if they don´t let us escape once we´ve visited the place? I mean, I won´t say no to the free food or a nice bed and to have an old guy around who knows all the answers to the universe might be useful, but I hate confinement. Hell, that should be obvious with Master as my teacher and that´s another problem. They´ll keep an eye on me because of him.”

Neah clasped his arms behind his back, eyes glistering in the sun like golden sunflower petals. Allen saw a few people around him shudder at the change in temperature around them and took another bite of his bread.

_“Oh, we´ll be able to escape at all times, don´t worry. There is nobody who can declare themselves to own us as we decide who to is to be trusted. Keep in mind, there are many secrets in this war, people are not to be trusted easily. Then again, it´s all a question about how long we can run, not if we can escape.”_

“I know, I know. I´d wish you´d just tell me more than just half answers instead of being so vague and cynical. I can handle a bit more or don´t you trust me?”

Allen stops walking when he notices Neah abruptly coming to a stand. A short-bearded man bumps into him and he apologizes hastily while the man almost trips over himself to get away from Allen.

_“It is not an issue of trust, Allen.”_

He blinks and suddenly, he´s standing alone in the middle of the crowded street on his own. He looks around, thinking that maybe, Neah went ahead, but he was nowhere in sight.

“Was it something I said?”

Tim nuzzles his cheek, stealing the last piece of bread from his hands and Allen can´t bring himself to feel angry for it. He soaks up the affection of the Golem after being left alone, feeling his chest twinge, Allen pushes on with a huff.

If Neah was being moody it wasn´t his problem, the other would come around. Now, that he had nobody to distract him, he picked up the mutterings and wary eyes directed in his direction.

“Did you see?”

“Yeah, he´s wearing black clothing.”

“He´s going to die, just like them. Look at the mark on his forehead!”

“Madame Claire has gotten to him already, and he´s so young too.”

“Shh! Do you want to die too?!”

“These people are acting all weird, Tim, and why is nobody wearing black?”

The people on the streets were moving away from him like he was a deadly disease and some of them even did the cross symbol to ward of evil. Nobody wore a piece of fabric that was colored black and the children hide behind their parents.

When he tried to move closer, they moved backwards or hurried along the street. Allen frowned, wondering what was going on as he walked ahead. He tried to get information in various shops with no results.

Having enough of the unwanted attention and seeing as there were no Akuma present Allen got his information the old-fashioned way. He waited in a dark alleyway who smelled of garbage and alcohol—his nose was awfully sensitive to that type of stuff –and grabbed someone by the scruff of their clothing.

“Good afternoon, I would like to ask you some questions on why everybody seems to be avoiding me and why the people in this town are acting so strange just because of a piece of clothing. Of course, you have the right to refuse, but I am in no mode for games and I would advice against making me mad. My temper seems to be awfully short today, especially since everybody here is so rude to me.”

“Please—Please let go off me! I will answer your questions, just don´t come too close!”

“Fine, but running won´t do you any favors, I am faster than you, I assure you that.”

The man he grabbed barely had any muscle mass and was tall. Dirty short blonde hair and green eyes stared fearfully at him as he smoothed out his clothing—a dark green and brown—and brushed off none-existent dirt.

He was trying to melt into the wall as Allen impatiently began to tap his foot.

“Well?”

“Uh…it´s…you´re going to die if you have bought that vest from Madame Claire.” The man blurted out, sweating when Allen frowned. He held out his hands palm upwards. “She´s the old lady at the end of the town. She owns a small shop that sells clothing and people loved to buy her work—but then she started to sell a special brand of black silk. People who wore these where found dead the next day, either hung or stabbed to death. She grew bitter after nobody came to visit her anymore and this is her curse. I don´t know anymore, please let me go now. I don´t want to die!”

Allen didn´t stop the man from rushing out of the alley, still mostly confused by everything. He stared after the man, who didn´t stop running until he disappeared before he turned to Timcampy.

“Think you can lead me there, Tim? This might need an investigation.”

Timcampy flapped it´s wings before it took off down the streets. Allen held onto his suit case, before running after the Golem.

It might serve as a nice distraction for a while.


	7. The Shadowy Silk Part 2

**Chapter 7 (The Shadowy Silk Part 2)**

* * *

 

"Excuse me, Miss? Do you have time for me to ask a few questions? I am an Exorcist and I want to clear up that misunderstanding in the village. There seems to be a strange rumor going around…"

"They insulted my greatest pride and joy, insisted that blood was on my hands…I am just a seamstress. They are ungrateful, and I wish to have nothing more to do with that pack."

"Surely, they were just exasperating?"

The old woman had a kind face which was darkened by the wrinkles and the anger brewing in her black eyes. Her shoulders were slouched forward with every step and her dress was simple but carefully constricted by her fingers it seemed from the way she smoothed out wrinkles in fabric with care. It was also black.

She seemed to fit right into her house, both shop and accommodation for traveler judging from the sign in front of the little two-story house. The windows were dusted, display dummies naked and colored a pale yellow. The smell of Tabaco had assaulted his nose and he´s seen glimpses of yellow teeth aside from her blemished skin.

Inside the shop were shelves filled with books and pieces of clothes neatly folded together. There was a little door just next to the stairs which had seen better days. He´s managed to go stairs where a guest room, her bedroom and a little living room slash kitchen was. It was cozy but felt hollowly sad to him. There were no pictures hung on the walls and her ashtray was full of cigarette buds as she sat across from him.

He barely had any money left, but he´d manage. In the next town, he could play a little poker. Neah could even help out a bit.

" _If he stops pouting."_

Allen thought annoyedly as he gazed into his cup of tea the lady had so kindly provided. Neah simply turned away from him, head snapping into another direction and not speaking a single word. He unconsciously tightened his grip on the tea cup.

"Of course, I am no witch. I cannot curse people." She snapped, and Allen smiles pacifyingly. "I do not know what those deaths have to do with my work. That´s just all a coincidence on their part—I am wearing them, and nothing happens!"

"I don´t believe those rumors which is why I came here with the intent to buy something, though I am a bit broken right now, but I had hopes you could have told me a little more about those deaths. There are many reasons people can perish that doesn´t involve a curse. However, something must have happened otherwise the villagers wouldn´t be so terrified, Madame Claire."

Claire scoffed, gently stroking over her sleeve. Allen almost expected her to have a pet around, when she showed so obvious care for her fabrics.

"It started four months ago. We are a village offside to most other cities or towns. I am the only seamstress here and my shop was well-liked a quarter year ago. People came in and gushed over my works, children tugging at my skirts for new dresses and teaching lessons and even travelers praised my work. But soon, people that have bought pieces of my shop whenever it was clothes or bed sheets, turned up dead. Some where hung in their room, a noose of my black silk around their neck. Others were found drowning in their own blood. People made the connection to me being a witch that grew bitter and they all stopped visiting me in fear of dying. It´s a farce. They were so readily to turn their backs onto me when I fixed their clothing. The village can burn for all I care."

"Black silk?"

Allen inquired as she turned to refill her cup. Timcampy was poking the silk with a wing and he saw a fleeting smile grace the woman´s face.

"Yes, I acquired some eight months ago. This dress was my first masterpiece. I´ve made many pieces out of the silk as it was the best kind I´ve seen so far. Those fools have the notion that it´s cursed, which is it not as you can see."

"It is very nice, Madame. I mourn that I have got no money to buy a piece off you. I know the work must be taxing, especially in creating such a wonderful dress. I have been traveling around the world my whole life and someone taught me how to sew a bit, so I could fix holes and tears in my clothing. Though, I am no good except when it comes to patching up tiny holes."

"Most people think that to be woman´s work."

"Why? It can be fun and it´s useful if not frustrating. I don´t see a reason for not letting a man sew when it can save money, or he wants to. A few years ago, there was an older woman. She took care of me while I was in a bad place, we called her Mother. She had a very strong opinion of women and men being equal and of manners, even my Master who treated woman in high respect, cowered under her. She reminds me a bit of you actually."

Allen smiled, petting Timcampy and finishing his cup. There were a few minutes of silence as Allen recalled a few fonder memories, until he was brought out of his musing by her.

"Are you hungry, child?"

"Huh? Ah, no you don´t have to. I can´t pay it." Allen waved his hands as she stood up, brushing off her skirt as she glowered at him. He sunk into his seat.

"I _want_ to, what kind of guest would I be if I don´t feed you? You won´t refuse the food of an old woman such as me, would you? You seem like the type who enjoys food. You can even help a little in setting the table. It´s been such a long time since I had company worth bringing out my silver dish for."

She waved him over and Allen stood up to help her. She muttered a few things while he cut her the vegetables and meat needed for the porridge she wanted to make as she cooked the rice and got the pot ready with hot water.

"Don´t eat the ingredients, boy!"

"I am sorry!"

Allen held his stinging hand where she´d slapped it away with the wooden spoon to his chest. She definitely was like Mother.

"You can start setting the table. The dishes are over there and there."

She jerked her head to the side-cabinets and Allen was thankful she was shorter than him. It means he could reach the plates easily.

"Excuse me for asking, but don´t you have family?"

"You´re an observant one, aren´t you? I removed the pictures of my daughter only a month ago, and haven´t found the will to repaint the marks from the picture frames on the walls. She was a sweet girl, always coming to visit me for dinner. Until she passed away from a disease. You´re similar, she´d been this tall at thirteen too, when she passed away."

"I am fifteen, Madame."

Allen quietly apologized for being noisy and to his surprise, the woman barked out a laugh as she carried the pot over to the small kitchen table.

"What a scrawny boy you are, then. All the more reason for you to eat more. But first, we pray."

She reached over to grab his hands and Allen let her with a polite smile. She blinked at him.

"You don´t believe in God? Even though you´re an Exorcist?"

Allen shrugged helplessly. "It´s complicated? I may not believe in God, but there are other things I believe in."

"Ah…I know what you mean, child." She petted his hands before she let go of them. Allen wanted to protest, he´d pray with her if she wanted to, but she only shook her head.

"It´s all right. I don´t believe in God either."

Now, it was Allen´s turn to blink in bewilderment. "What? But then, why…?"

"My daughter believed in him, so I believed in her faith. When you love someone…it´s not hard to have mindless faith. It made her happy when I prayed with her as it made me happy when she told me parts of her day. We were only speaking to two different people."

"Faith..."

The woman closed her eyes, hands pressed tightly together as she mumbled a few words and opened them again. She reached for the bowl with a nod.

"In this world, there is very little we are certain of, child. People only have hope and faith left to cling onto, otherwise they would go mad."

"What about trust?"

Allen thanked her for the food and began to eat and her eyes crinkled in warmth at his praise. Timcampy snatched a spoonful of food, chewing loudly.

"Trust is a thing which can be broken, my dear. Faith is endless. If someone betrays you, that trust is gone, but you can still believe in the person to do the right thing. My, it seems your pet quite likes my cooking."

Timcampy nodded his head eagerly while Allen was in deep thought, humming around another spoonful of porridge.

" _It is not an issue of trust, Allen."_

Suddenly, the taste on his tongue turned tasteless and heavy.

"Thank you, I think I need to apologize to a friend later."

Allen bowed his head, toying with Timcampy tail and Claire chuckled.

"Glad to help you out. Now, why don´t I show you your room, since you´ve finished dinner already?"

"That would be nice, thank you."

She stood up, refusing when Allen offered to wash the dishes for her as he took him by the arm to lead him down the small and narrow hallway to the last door.

"Now, if you need anything just call for me."

She smiles, ruffling his head before trudging back to the kitchen, closing the door behind her. Allen set down his suit case near the bed, sitting down on it cross-legged. His gloved hand stroked over the material, a stark monochrome contrast against the black sheets.

The curtains in the room were black too, and there was nothing but the bed and a small night shelf to his right inside the room as far as furniture goes. Dust was collecting bunnies at the feet of the bed as he kicked off his boots.

"I am sorry, I …was acting immature, but it´s confusing and frustrating, knowing you have the answers and I only the questions. Master was the same, you know, always demanding I´d do that or this but only giving me answers that brought up more questions before he refused to answer. You know how much I had to pester him at that time to teach me something useful. While the science talk behind it went over my head, I picked it up fast."

"…"

"I will try to have faith in you, instead. Because I should have done that from the start and I am sorry. I really am, you know I mean it. You were the only person I apologized to aside from…from Mana when I was still Red."

"…"

Allen gritted his teeth when the reflection turned his head away, eyes hidden behind bangs. Timcampy fluttered in the air nervously, glancing from Allen to his reflection and then repeating the process.

"Fine, be that way. At least, I apologized and tried to fix my mistake. I am going to sleep now. Good night Tim."

Changing into lighter sleep wear, with his left glove still on his hand out of habit, he snuggled into the covers, pulling the sheets tighter around him as Timcampy shut the lights off. He pulled his legs up, curling into a ball like he´d done since Mana died with Timcampy settling in his hair.

"…"

Allen snorted, turning around when he saw the figure laying next to him, feeling spiteful at being ignored. Just like when the cook at the circus ignored him when he asked for food, or how everyone else saw the beatings he got from Cosimov but still didn´t care enough to do something about it.

A soft sigh was heard, before Allen opened one eye to glance behind him to find the space empty again.

" _I am not feeling guilty for this."_

Allen thought, brows furrowing as he willed himself to fall asleep.

" _It´s war! People die every day get over it!"_

" _Perhaps…I will try to speak with him tomorrow. We´re both acting a bit silly right now."_

With a heavy heart Allen feel asleep.


	8. The Shadowy Silk Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! Hope you like the chapter~.

_“WAKE UP!”_

_He wakes up immediately, startled and looking around, but it´s too late already. He´s pulled backwards, with his feet kicking as he tries to scream. The room spins for a moment as he struggles in the darkness and he can´t see anything._

_“I can´t breathe!”_

“Let…go…!”

Air doesn´t get into his lungs as he has one hand warped around the fabric strangling him. He can´t see in the dim-room, only feels the circulation being cut of in his legs and left arm that´s bound by the sheets he´s been sleeping in.

His vision grows blurry soon, his struggling ceases a bit as he tries to free himself.

“Inno…cence…acti…vate!”

His glove tears off as his hand transforms into the large claw, burning green flames lightening up the room at his shoulder and he sees something akin to a spider web of fabric swirling like it had its own mind. He´s connected to it and his claw pull the cloth from his neck. When he moves to free his limbs, they shot out and bid his claw as he gasps for air, coughing harshly.

_“Let go of him, you second-hand piece of shit—”_

The soft glow of his Innocence illuminates Neah´s frame and burning amber eyes when he reaches out as if to touch the clothing binding Allen.

“That´s not going to work—”

Allen tries to tell him, because Neah hasn´t been able to touch things due to the lack of a physical body—he´s a ghost, it´s impossible for him –only to gape when the man grabs onto the fabric and pulls.

Green lighting erupts and throws the man across the room.

“Neah!” Allen strains harder against the pieces binding him, restraints loosening as they form a drill in the air. His heart drops to his chest when he sees Neah snarl angrily at it from the ground, skin flickering to an ashen grey, eyes glowing in the dark.

_“Damn you…Innocence.”_

“Move! Get away, vanish!”

Neah rolls to the side just to avoid getting pierced by the drill, who destroys the wood and leaps to his feet. It´s all happening too fast for Allen to process right now.

“Oh, hell no! Let me go—”

Allen rips his left crawl free, tearing the restrains away from his legs as he jumps from the bed and knocks the bundle of possessed clothing down into the shop before it can pierce Neah´s ghost form. His legs buckle, and he falls down with pieces of wood cracking.

“That hurt…oh God…what the hell?”

_“Get the fuck out of there!”_

“I am working on it.”

Allen hisses back in a low voice, backing away from the spider web that filled the small room. It´s the room in the back of the shop, because he sees parts of a destroyed sewing wheel at a small table which has lost it´s leg.

Like belts, black fabrics shots out towards him and Allen uses a dummy doll with no head as shield and flips backwards. He crouches lowly, legs tingling as the blood flows back and winces when he´s slammed into wall.

His head rings and when he touches his side, his hand is wet.

“Shit.”

He curses when he´s caught around the waist and lifted out of the rubble. Pounding footsteps meet his ears and it´s a small relief that he doesn´t see Neah floating around. If he can be hurt, he shouldn´t move out of the reflections.

Because Allen wouldn´t know what to do if Neah would leave him too.

“What is goin—Oh my god…”

“Claire! Stay back, please.” Allen calls out, blood trailing down his chin as his claw is pulled backwards. Stinging pain erupts in his shoulder and he´s afraid it´s going to break any second now.

The old woman looks close to a heart attack, instead of her black dress, she´s in a pale blue nightgown. The candle slips from the tray and falls to the ground, the wood catching on fire. Smoke fills the small room.

“It´s true…so, I am at fault for all of those…”

“No!” Allen cries out, grunting in pain at another harsh pull and when his thigh is pierced. Blood drips down his leg.

“It´s Innocence! It acts on it´s own…probably to protect you, because you can wear it, you must be its accommodator! You need to tell it to stop, please!”

“I? No, it´s not possible…”

Claire stumbles away from the door, fire encasing it and coughs lightly. The Innocence makes no move to attack her. Allen twists backwards as much as he can to get relief from the strain on his left arm and has never been gladder that he´s so flexible.

“Remember what you told me! You need to have faith now, before it kills me. I believe it whole heartedly, so tell it to back off! I mean it no harm.”

To his surprise, the grip on his left arm slackens a bit, still tight enough to hurt but not close to breaking the bone anymore.

Claire flinches, glancing up at him with wide eyes before she juts out her chin, her mouth a stern quivering line on her ashen face.

“Don´t hurt him! Stop. I don´t want this.”

Slowly, the Innocence moves to set him down, Allen gives a sigh of relief. The moment he smiles at the woman, his left eye activates while he hears a shrill voice in his mind.

_“Shit, Akuma incoming.”_

The burning door is burst open, blood sprays and a giggling laugh rings out.

“I fOuNd tHe InNoCennCe!”

Allen hangs limply in the grasp of the Innocence, staring wide-eyed into the shocked, pained eyes of Claire, who´s pale blue gown turned a vivid red. A sword was jutting out of her chest as black stars started to appear on her blemished skin.

He watched the woman turn into dust before his eyes, her blood-stained gown the only thing left of her.

“Oh? An Exorcist! He´s half-dead too, lucky day for me! The Earl will be so pleased with me that I killed one of those pesky things!”

“Claire…how dare you…”

Allen says, the Innocence letting go of him at once and falling into a pile of silk as if the life was sucked out of it. He hits the ground, bare footed into splinters, knees hitting the hard wood next as he braces himself upward with his hands.

“What was that? Are you missing that wrenched human I killed! Don´t worry you will meet her soon again!”

Pulsing rage coursed through his veins, a purple aura enfolding him as flames burnt. Allen couldn´t think straight, the face of the smiling old woman in front of his eyes as he glared at the Akuma. His craw pulsed with his racing heartbeat.

_“It´s a Level 2, Allen, you can´t—"_

“I will kill you!”

He jumps at the Akuma, who looked like an overgrown knight with it´s armor an ugly washed out purple yellow. Two broad swords were attached onto it´s hand that came up to block his strike.

_“Wait for your weapon to transform at least!”_

Allen aims his arm at the Akuma as it transformed into a Canon. He´s not hearing anything besides his racing pulse as he corrects his stance with his human arm and shots.

Beams of light knock the Akuma through the burning wall, outside into the night, it´s crying out in pain as pieces of it´s sword fall away.

Allen lands in a crouch, muscles straining as he rushed after the Akuma and continues to fire.

“I won´t forgive you!”

“Argh! I will destroy you, Exorcist!”

The Akuma cries out as Allen is restless with his assault. There were cracks in the amour, as it jumped to the side, slashing the light beams away to slice him. Allen jumps back, deflecting one sword and feeling the air hit his stomach as his shirt is cut.

_“Is that all you´re cable of Innocence? Hah, what a joke, Allen, you´re not going to let it get away with mocking you. Destroy it until even the Earl can´t glue it back together.”_

“Destroy it…” Allen pants, dodging another strike aimed for his head as he moves closer in a burst of speed. He ducks under another slash, left hand outstretched as his fingers, energy spikes, morph into a spear like energy paling. He cuts as he whirls around doing a full rotation.

“My arm! You fucking—”

The right sword drops off as Allen side-steps the Akuma. His vision is blurry and sweat drips down his chin as he roars and slashes upwards, cutting the Akuma in half. It explodes, and Allen fells his arm transform back, falling limply to his side as he shields his face as he flies through the air.

He crashes against the large sign in front of the house, which is going up in flames and breaks it in half.

_“Sleep is not a good option right now. No, stay awake—you´re so bad at listening to anything I say.”_

“I…am…tired.”

Allen mumbles, blood trailing down his temple, eyes fluttering a few times in a losing battle. The anger leaves him feeling drained and he can´t even bring himself to move. His body dips to the side and he falls into the dirt, blood beginning to pool around him.

Amber eyes are in front of his face, a worried frown tugging at the ashen face.

“Thank you…Innocence.”

His body gives into the tempting void of darkness.

* * *

 

_“Am I dead?”_

_“No, you´re not.” A voice speaks up and Allen sits up. “Not yet, at least.”_

_The moon in the black sky that turned bloody red grins down at him, dead white trees lining up to a lake, he feels nostalgia grip him. He walks over to the lake, surprised that he feels no exhaustion and looks down to see a visage staring up at him from a broken picture frame of dark black water and pure ice._

_“Jo.”_

_“Neah…where am I?”_

_“Inside your head.” It´s a brittle answer and Allen gapes as he turns around to stare at the world with shock. His tongue feels dry._

_“This…this is my mind? Bloody hell…I am truly mad.”_

_“Mad, certainly as it means mutual assured destruction, Insane? No. But that´s not the point.”_

_Neah snaps, looking seconds away from reaching out to drag Allen into the lake to drown him. Allen jerks back at the thought, not wanting a repeat of…of…_

_Since it won´t come to him, he decides to focus on the present problem._

_“You´re mad.”_

_“Yes.”_

_“I mean angry.”_

_“Most certainly, that too. What the hell was it that you were trying to do there?”_

_“I was angry!”_

_His hands squeezed into fists as he glared at the reflection. Neah´s image flickered for a moment and the tight-lipped smile spelled trouble._

_“You were reckless. Anger is no weapon to wield in battle if you do not control it.”_

_“Are you saying I can´t be angry?!”_

_Allen bristled, and the crackling sound of ice made him fall silent. The water rippled around the image of Neah looming besides his image and suddenly, he felt incredibly small._

_“You do not listen, you stubborn fool! Your problem is that your anger is **hot**. You need to coil it in a prison of ice, focus it with merciless precision if you want to use it. Not have a temper tantrum like a child. Anger is dangerous if it is cold. Just like revenge.”_

_“I can´t do anything against that, it´s not like I can just pour a bucket of water over it like I am putting out a bonfire. It won´t work.”_

_Neah´s eyes glint with challenge. “Who says you need to extinguish that fire? Think of it like an Akuma. The soul is your burning core that fuels the cold machine. It´s caged inside safely away from taking control over the body.”_

_“Fine…I will try to keep my temper. Also…I am sorry. For not having faith in you before. You´re my friend and while I trust you, it´s not enough. I am not going to stop asking for answers, but I will stop doubting you.”_

_“I am too.” Neah began quietly, looking oddly guilty as he kept eye-contact. “You´re different than what I am used to, so I essential demanded things from you and kept being frustrated that you don´t understand them like me. But you´re…your own person. People change, even the unchangeable can begin to change within time and I didn´t want to admit that. So, it´s my fault too.”_

_“You liked me better when I was Red?”_

_Allen blurted out, feeling mortified, embarrassed and flattered simultaneously. Neah titled his head, hands running through Allen´s strands in their reflection like he was really touching them._

_“Red hair did suit you. Better than Cross any day.”_

_“I am telling him that next time I meet him. Which hopefully, won´t happen for a long, long time.” Allen grimaced, tugging at his bangs. Suddenly he perked up._

_“Hey,” He leant closer to the water, ignoring Neah´s warning gaze on his face. “Can I ask you three questions?”_

_“Shoot.”_

_“Okay, so, what was that in the room back then? You were touching Innocence and it burnt you. Are you a form of Innocence? Why did your skin color change or was that just my light concussion? Also, don´t you want to come out of that lake?”_

_Neah made a shooing motion with his hand and Allen leant back._

_“Firstly, don´t insult me, I am not Innocence.” He spit the world out like a curse and Allen recoiled slightly when his arm twitched._

_“Secondly, that were two questions and it´s of no concern what skin color I am. You love Akuma, why should it matter if I am white or not?”_

_Now, Allen flushed lightly, muttering a quick apology. Neah brushed it aside with a dismissive flicker of his wrist. Holding up a third finger, he shook his head._

_“I can´t come out yet.”_

_“What? Of course, you can. Here, I will help you out.”_

_Neah stares almost wistfully at the offered left hand before he frowns._

_“It´s not that simple. There are other factors—”_

_“Since when did you care for consequences? Is it because it´s my Innocence arm? Are you disgusted by—”_

_“No, I could never be disgusted with any part of you even if it´s …that thing.”_

_Neah interrupted harshly, cringing slightly and Allen smiled warmly._

_“It´s the same with my Innocence. It hasn´t hurt you before and since this is my head and I am parasite and all, that means it knows you´re here too and that it likes you enough to not kick you out. Tolerating is enough for me right now, so come here.”_

_“Is that what you want?”_

_“You said it yourself, it doesn´t matter what you are or what you look like, you´re my friend and that won´t ever change. It´s the foundation of my faith and half of my promise. Either won´t break. The water must be cold and lonely, and I don´t think my Innocence will mind, because I love it too. It´s part of me, so it can´t hate you.”_

_Neah is silent for a moment, considering it before he stares up at the sky._

_“Yours might not hate, but there are worse things than hate in this world.” But even with those words, Neah grips the offered hand tightly as Allen pulls him out of the water. His hair is pressed against his head and his skin is icy like death. The man grunts in pain._

_“You can´t save him.” Allen winces at the throbbing in his arm. Neither of them lets go. “Because there is nothing he needs saving from…we´ll think of something. I won´t let go and neither will you, but we have the same goal.”_

_The stinging subsides as they both tumble backwards. It´s the first time Neah felt physical against him and the man embraces him, shivering._

_“Please don´t disappear, Allen.”_

_It´s a wet mumble against his hair, but Allen´s heart cracks at the pitiful tone. He throws his arm around the larger man and squeezes him for all he´s worth._

_“I won´t leave you behind. I never have, and I never will. Whenever I was Red or Allen. As you said, only death can break us.”_

_A mirthless chuckle shakes them both and slowly, a melody fills the air. Allen feels attached to it and unconsciously chimes in humming it. Soon, his eyes fall shut._

* * *

 

“I feel kind of faint…the Innocence!”

Allen sits up with a gasp, stomach throbbing and growling loudly. He touches his head as he stands on shaky knees, wincing at the mess of the burnt house and his bloody stomach. He bandages it carefully with the rest of his shirt and when he moves to stand he falls back down.

“Great…my shoes are gone. The Innocence is probably still there, but what should I do with it if it attacks me again?”

_“Give it to Timcampy.”_

“Are you sure, you should be out of here? If Innocence can hurt, you…”

Neah raises an eyebrow, watching him pick out pieces of burnt wood, glass and stones from his bloody feet. Allen still complies to his suggestion and sends Timcampy to collect the Innocence. Allen watches the Golem eat the Silk, that was the only thing whole in the burnt house before it spit out a glowing green cube only to swallow it again.

“Amazing.”

_“I know. I made sure he could store them when I made him. Innocence may sting me a little, but it can´t kill me in this form.”_

“That´s a relief and one thing to worry about less…oh, no! Our money!”

Allen burst out in disappear and his stomach chose that moment to growl. He was in the middle of a freak out when he heard startled gasps.

“You are…”

“Hi,” Allen smiles awkwardly at the crowd of people staring at him, scratching the back of his head. “It´s not what it looks like.”

“You got rid of our curse…our savior!”

“He´s injured—get him some medicine!” One man shouted as they began to crowd around him.

“Do you need shoes? I think I have some… and new clothes of course.”

“He deserves a money reward!”

“He´s hungry, let´s go and a make a feast in his honor!”

 _“How disgusting humans are.”_ Neah muses scornfully, staring them down with cold eyes. _“But accept their offerings. You´re parasite, you don´t need a sugar crash. It´s one of the reasons why I am not in your head. You need less energy and don´t forget what Cross told you about what the consequences of starvation were for you.”_

“Thank you.”

Allen smiles tight-lipped as they help him up, a man carrying each of his arms around his shoulders, thinking that his left arm was burnt as the crowd cheered. He bit his tongue hard enough to taste the metallic bitterness of blood as they walked him back into the village.

Sometimes, he hated humans too.

_“Hate and love go hand in hand…if you did not love before, all you would feel is indifference.”_

“Cheers on the Exorcist sent to us by God!”

_“I don´t believe in God either. But she did, so I believed in her faith. Because it made her happy.”_

From that moment on, Allen sent a short prayer for the women to God. As a reminder of his own faith.

Because he didn´t need to believe in God, only in people and himself.

There was no God, just Innocence.


	9. Simple Adjustments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nea wants to have a little fun, Allen wants money.

**Chapter 9 (Simple Adjustments)**

* * *

 

“We really shouldn´t go to Italy. If you didn´t know the Vatican is located there and walking in there when we are actively trying to avoid the Order for a few more months is kind of counterproductive. I vote we travel in the opposite direction.”

_“It would be a vacation of sorts, since there are rarely Akuma in that place. Even if they catch side of us, what are they going to do about that? We will simply run away.”_

“And you think that´s going to work? Simply turn around and run and then what? Hope that they won´t follow us or hunt us down?”

_“The Order won´t find us, because if **we** don´t know where we are then the chances that **they** know is next to zero. You´d be better at running away from responsibilities than Cross with your sense of direction.”_

Allen couldn´t help himself, he laughed. It was a little mad and full of disbelief. It scared a few people to switch seats in the train.

“That´s your plan? Bloody hell, I don´t even what to hear about how you want to take the Earl down. We´re doomed.”

Neah huffed and crossed his arms, pointedly turning his head away from Allen, who stared outside miserably.

_“With that mentality we won´t win. You can´t plan everything and you´re reckless as it is, what is there for you to complain about my planning? The Earl will die by my—our hand. End of the story. I don´t care how it happens or who has to die for that to happen. It will.”_

“We are not killing people if we don´t have to Neah. Only if it is necessary as a last resort.”

Allen reminded him sternly, trying not to feel about the lack of moral or empathy from his friend. Neah stretched out his legs on the other side of his seat, crossing his arms behind his back and leaning back against the window.

_“Define necessary.”_

“Neah!” Allen hisses lowly, eyes surveying the train to make sure they weren´t heard. He got a side-eyed glance and a twitch of lips sent his way. He sighs heavily. “Necessary as a matter of life or death in which we must kill the person to survive. When there literally is no other option because nothing else would work, and every else we have thought of has already been tried and failed. Only and only then, if we are one-hundred percent sure it must happen, even then will we only leave the person _injured_. Killing cannot be reasoned with—it´s murder and I am not okay with that except it´s the Earl.”

_“You might be surprised on how often killing is going to be the first option you´ll think of. It´s much less taxing, way easier and cleaner. Nothing what is dead can come back to haunt you—with a few exceptions of course.”_

“I will take that risk. Now, be quiet while I order me some food.”

Neah scowls playfully, closing his eyes as if to sleep. Allen knew better.

_“You´ve gotten awfully bossy since we noticed you getting stronger with every Akuma you destroy. I am not sure if I like that or not.”_

“Ah, yes, I will have the whole menu, please!”

“Of—Of course, sir.”

The train attendant stammered, flushing at his smile before hurrying away. Neah pinched the bridge of his nose, swatting Timcampy away.

_“Go bug, Allen, Tim. I am not in the mode.”_

In the end, they ended up near Italy anyway, before Allen noticed it and ran for the hills after bumbling into a man wearing a cardinal robe. Neah´s smug crackling in the background ignored.

“Call!”

Collectively groans and curses filled the air. Allen smiled innocently as he collected his winnings, counting them quickly. The men around the table scowled at him, most of them three-sizes bigger than him with crooked yellow teeth and beady eyes. Muscles ripped and tattooed.

Allen wasn´t intimidated anymore, not when he knew he could take them even without his Innocence. His strength wasn´t anything to scoff at, though most people found his appearance deceiving in the matters of physical abilities.

Though, Neah played a part in showing him some moves even if they were rather…violent in a homicide way, they worked if Allen found himself in a pinch against an Akuma. Not that he could complain about such methods when he himself fought dirty in hand to hand combat.

Old habits were hard to break.

_“It´s no fun anymore when I don´t get to have a part in their misery.”_

Neah´s whine was only slightly distracting, though, Allen didn´t look away from the shuffling of said cards.

_Deal with it. Your idea of fun and mine are two entirely different things…mostly._

He checked his deck, frowning slightly at his cards, not using his lips to speak. His friend had come up with the idea of Allen using his thoughts to communicate with him instead of talking out loud. It worked after a bit of practice and people no longer gave him weird looks.

However, he still slipped sometimes. When he was emotional.

He found Neah´s lack of empathy and cynical world-view off-putting, but after spending so much time together, Allen grew used to it. Neah seemed to open up to him and that made him happier.

_“You laughed when we cut of every limb of that Level 2 Akuma aside from the head and it still tried to attack you. With it wiggling on the ground like that, the high-pitched voice of the monkey-like body was funny. If it could be called that, I swear these things get uglier every time we see them and what´s up with making them look like that? The Earl´s got no taste.”_

Neah shot back defensively, a smirk coming up his face. Allen wanted to reach out to tug at the cheeky man´s cheeks so bad to get the expression of his face—he found out, he could touch the other if only with his left hand. He used it to full advantages at times.

_What can I say? You´re bad influence._

_“I am fun.”_

“Hey brat, either play or daydream.”

One of the man jerked him back to his game and Allen cursed him inwardly when he heard the titter of a cat-like noise.

_Stop laughing jackass, that´s our money at stake here._

_“Ah, so if I annoy you, it´s suddenly “our” money, but if I want you to buy something, it´s yours?”_

_You wanted me to buy you an empty journal. What do we need an empty useless book for when we could spent the money on food?_

_“I would have never thought I´d hear you say something like that. I told you of the reasons it´s important.”_

Allen grinned when he won another round, batting his eyes at one of the suspicious looking men gazing into his direction. The man looked away.

_Yeah, right after you forced me to improve my writing and reading. I don´t know why you were so adamant about that, when you told me yourself you found books boring. You seemed quite guilty afterwards I recall._

_“You enjoyed the few books you read immensely, just like the few books from Cross he forced you to read when you were irritating him on a stormy night. Also, books are boring, who wants to read when he can make music?”_

_Sometimes they are. And you´re just saying that because you have trouble sitting still long enough to finish a book. Not all of us are musical prodigies, Neah._

Allen quickly counted in his head how many games he´d have to play if he wanted to eat three full meals the next day in addition to the train costs he´d have to pay since they had no reason to stay in this one anymore.

The inn Allen managed to cry them into had been a nice place to sleep in for two nights.

_Forget that, I will just tell them I am an Exorcist. That´s got to give me a little discount._

Allen grinned at the thought of the food he´d buy, mouth-watering slightly. He wiped the droll away from the corner of his mouth with an embarrassed laugh at the stares.

Neah fondly shook his head, petting Timcampy unknown to everyone else. Allen´s eyes darted over to them before he focused back on his game.

If Neah was distracted it meant he couldn´t distract Allen which meant more money.

Too bad Neah still managed to be distracting even without opening his mouth.

“Would you stop doing that?!”

Allen burst out when Neah waved his hand in front of a man´s face, making a strangling motion around the man´s neck before squabbling with Timcampy like they were fighting. The table fell silent, Neah and Timcampy freezing.

“What was that brat? Which of us did ya mean?”

The man to his right leaned in uncomfortable close as Allen laughed nervously, glowering at him, putting his cards down. A few other stood up.

“We don´t like disrespectful snotty little kids.”

_Damn you, Neah._


	10. Burning Witch Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allen is starting to hate people with red hair. Aside from a possiblity of that guy being a Bastard son of Cross, they're all more trouble than they're worth it. He should know.

**Chapter 10 (Burning Witch Part 1)**

* * *

 

In hindsight, Allen should have turned around and forgot about his martyr tendencies as well as his conscience as Neah mocked him for getting them into this mess _“See? That is exactly the reason such emotions are useless.” You are basically a martyr too, Neah, so stop scolding me._ —the very minute they heard of the rumors and the myth.

But Allen had seen the uproar while walking along the road and had to ask what that was about. The people were all but willing to tell him.

_“There was this guy, flaming red hair and all! A true sign of the devil.”_

_“Yeah, he told us he was an Exorcist, like we'd believe that! That thing's got no soul, it's a sign of the Devil. He wished to know about what happened years ago, he's a simple reincarnation that came to haunt us, or maybe even that devil's child's father!”_

_“He wanted to corrupted our women and daughters. The creature would not stop flirting with them right in front of our eyes!”_

_“It spoke about demons and a crystal of God, such daring to speak of the divine when he proudly wears the signs of the devil. It was a good thing we have tied him to the post in the deepest part of the wood.”_

_“You say you're an Exorcist? Then go north into the woods and bring us Salvation by burning the creature of fire.”_

_“It's the burning witch! It is evil, be careful not to listen to it's preaching and do not get too close.”_

At first, Allen had suspected it to be his Master, but upon hearing about the fire and the fact that this person apparently tried to do work here—he'd destroyed quite a handful of Akuma on his way here. That option was out of the window faster than Cross's throwing out the money he'd earnt months ago.

Spending almost three years together with that man was more than enough torment. God knew Allen had enough of that. So, he tried to find the guy with the Innocence—he was hungry since he couldn't eat breakfast and he was ready to be able to eat mountains of food when he finally visited the Order –which turned out to be a disaster since Timcampy got eaten by a cat which ran into the forest. Neah went after him, complaining about not making a fail-safe for such a situation in the early prototype and threatening the cat who only ran faster at the temperature change—Neah´s glare was utterly terrifying –about what he would do with it if she didn't spit Tim out.

Neah seemed to enjoy the hunt, looking out for blood like a starving man.

The forest was huge, and he only had a day left before the people would come to burn the man. The first five hours were spent wandering around aimlessly, before his eye activated. A hoard of Level 1's and 2's showed up and while Allen was good at aiming and dodging bullets thanks to his Master, there were simply too many bullets.

He'd got knocked through four trees, was sure one of his ribs were cracked, his body was bruised and had to purify the poison in his body twice before he managed to kill most of them. The Level 1's were easily taken care of, but he'd left two Level 2's live from five in order to find the helpless Exorcist.

Suddenly, Allen was glad he hadn't been able to dye his hair back to his original color, otherwise, it'd be him on that stump.

“I hate this.”

Picking out twigs and leaves out of his hair, he stormed through the forest, away from the Akuma. There was no sign of Neah, only a faint silver line connecting him that lead off far into the woods and Allen moved swiftly through the trees.

“It better not be Cross, otherwise, I am turning straight around.”

He couldn't help but be curious about other Exorcists. Neah had a low option of them, but he's had a low option of everybody in general. Where there younger Exorcists than him? Were they parasite like him or equipment?

“Oh, not again.” Allen groaned lowly, holding his left wrist as he crept near a clearing. It had been approximately another two and a half hours of mindless wandering, with Neah nowhere in sight. He stopped, crouching low in the bushes.

“You don't need to be scared. We'll wait for the humans to come back here and burn you to ashes and then, we will simply collect the Innocence! Master Earl will be so pleased!”

A blonde, busty woman with red lips giggled as she stood in front of a young man, who wore a black and silver uniform. Allen gritted his teeth at the obnoxious noise, as he looked the Exorcist over. He was tall, unfairly so, from his young face. Only one eye was visible, and it was as green as their surroundings while the other was hidden by a green bandana. An orange scarf was warped around his neck, almost touching the ground.

So, he wasn't the only weird looking Exorcist around. Good to know. He'd fit right in then.

_I think I know just what to do._

Allen hides a grin behind his hand, he'd get revenge for the money he would have to pay for new clothes. Another reason to join the order then. He stumbled out of the bushes, the woman twirling around as he fell to his knees.

“Hey, you, run—”

The disguised Akuma punched the redhead harshly in the chest as Allen looked up, head turning form side to side wildly, before he started at the ground, bangs hiding his eye. She actually used his scarf to gag the redhead.

“Is that…Is that the burning witch?”

“Oh, child, what are you doing here?”

She cooed, stepping closer to him. Allen's shoulders began to shake.

“I came searching for the witch…to be early before we burnt him. I got lost and separated from my sister. He enchanted her with a spell to make her fall for him, so she went ahead to save him. I came to stop her…such evil has to die, but I hurt myself when I tripped down a small hill.”

“Oh, you poor thing. But you need to be patient. You need to wait for the villagers if you want him to burn.”

She took a step near him and Allen stood on shaking knees, voice choked with held back tears as he stumbles over to the woman, holding his stomach. She catches him when he slips on the grass, her hands ice cold on his cloth-lad waist.

The redhead is straining wildly against his bounds, while Allen whimpers.

“I want to rest a bit then, Miss. I think I broke my ribs, I want to sit down.”

“Of course, let me help you, boy.”

She helps him over to one of the trees. It's when she's just turning to help him sit down when Allen's left hand shots out, grips her skull and bashes her head violently against the tree. She drops light dead-weight, no blood pooling around her. Instead her skull is split open on one side to reveal a black-shaped star on her forehead and Allen straightens up.

“That should do for now.”

Allen smiles, turning to walk over to the taller Exorcist, who stares at him with a wide eye. He removes the gag, before he transforms his claw and frees him off his bounds.

“You're an Exorcist. So, you heard her? Nice weapon by the way and your acting truly was on point.”

The redhead says, rubbing his chest as he grins down at Allen who shakes his head.

“Yeah, I am an Exorcist, but that wasn't the reason I attacked her, you know. It's because I saw her soul.”

“Her soul?”

The redhead echoes, looking at him a little funny as Allen reaches up to brush his hair away from his still activate eye. He sees the Akuma coming closer while the other boy gawks at the strange colors and Allen clears his throat.

“Yes, her soul. I am cursed to see Akuma souls due to a mistake I made years ago. Its why I know why there is a little group heading towards us right now, so it'd be useful if you could get your weapon out and help a little with the fighting?”

Allen smiles, and the boy reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little hammer.

“Sure thing, I am Lavi, Bookman's apprentice, kid. Thanks for helping me out, it's only right that I'd return the favor.”

Allen grits his teeth, harshly jabbing the boy in the side with his left hand. Lavi flinches, wincing in pain.

“I am Allen Walker and I am _fifteen_ , not twelve!”

“Could have fooled me.”

“Yeah, well at least my weapon's bigger than yours.”

To his surprise, Lavi bursts out laughing as the Akuma jump in the clearing. Allen counts ten Level ones and the remaining Level two.

“I doubt that. Little Hammer, Big Hammer, grow, grow, grow!”

“What's—okay, I didn't know about that. I am retaking my last statement.”

“Look, there's that brat that escaped! Get him!”

The Level two, a large mixture of a beetle with six spider legs hisses out and Allen car-wheels out of the way of the bullets. Lavi grips his hammer and swings, hitting two Level 1's making them explode before he jumps backwards.

“Damn, you're a closer range fighter, aren't cha? This is bad…”

Allen dives behind a tree, wood splinters flying through the air as he feels the vibration from the bullets hitting the trunk against his back. The tree is giving away when he sees Lavi roll out of the way of spider webs. Right into the open where the Level 1's were waiting.

Allen jumps out of his hiding spot, taking aim and shots the three Level ones surrounding the startled redhead out of the sky.

“Only six left!”

“Nice one!”

“You're not the only one here with an ace up his sleeve.”

“I think I can top that!”

Lavi calls out before large red seals are conjured up in the air in a circle. He hits one of them with his hammer, while Allen makes out the sign of Fire and slams his weapon down into the grass.

“HIBAN!”

A large tornado of burning flames start up and flies through the sky like a dragon. Allen's count falls to two, one Level one and the Level two. Lavi grins smugly, turning to stare at him as Allen tackles him to the ground just as bullets annihilate their previous spot.

They tumble to the ground and Allen rolls over to his feet as he shots the last Level 1.

“You can brag about your little fire show later, when we don't have an overgrown spider to take care of.”

Allen aims at the spider as it shots another burst of webs at him and shots. He feels his energy drain and jumps back. Lavi's hammer slams into the Level two like a baseball bat and throws it into a tree. It howls in pain.

_“I leave you alone for half a day and this is what happens?”_

“Don't surprise me like that!”

Allen snaps at Neah's leering smirk, Timcampy fluttering above their heads as he grips his chest. Lavi makes a confused noise as he turns and it's then, when amber eyes widen that Allen feels like a chain wraps around his leg and pulls out the ground beneath his feet.

“I caught one! How do you feel, knowing I killed one of your comrades, Exorcist?”

The Akuma laughs as Allen tries to crawl at the ground. Lavi yells words that Allen can't hear above the ringing in his ears.

“I am not doing this again.”

The Canon transforms into the spear like energy sword and Allen slashes through the web like a knife through butter. He hears Lavi's gasp as he sits up and cuts of the leg that tried to pierce him.

_“Yes, just like that. Focus your anger and destroy it.”_

“Shut up.”

The Level two explodes when Allen jumps at it and slashes its head off. He's sweaty and slumps to the ground as his hands returns to normal when Lavi walks over. The Hammer is supposedly smaller than before as he reaches out to give him a hand.

“Was that a light saber? I think our little competition ended in a tie.”

Allen reaches out and lets the redhead pull him up, stumbling a bit. He's steadied and a loud grow interrupts them. Lavi tenses up, hands tightening around his hammer.

“Is it another Akuma? I thought your eye is like a radar? How far does it see?”

“That was…my stomach.” Allen answers, flushing slightly at the face of incredulity. “What? I am a parasite type and I didn't have breakfast! I have been walking around half a day to find you because I am horrible with directions and Tim got eaten by a cat.”

“Is that the reason you haven't been at headquarters to check in? The chief found the recommendation letter from your General last week when his sister, Lenalee, forced him to clean up a bit. We were wondering if you were going to show up or if you were a myth from General Cross to escape his work. Some even betted you'd run off just like him. But I guess nobody won that one, huh?”

_“This might be more interesting than I first thought. The Order is a dark and depressing place, but it seems some things changed with time. Who's that?”_

“I had planned to show up if I could find the place.” _Eventually at least._ “I hadn't thought he was serious when he said he'd write a letter.”

_Lavi, Bookman's apprentice, Exorcist._

Neah's amber eyes widened before they narrowed into slits but before Allen could inquire what was with that reaction and arm was thrown over his shoulder. Lavi smiled down at him.

“Well, it's a good thing I found you, right? Finders keepers!”

“First off, I found you, secondly, I am not a thing to be owned and we need to destroy the Akuma before anyone finds it.”

Allen shrugged off the arm, walking over to the blonde Akuma and making it explode with his claw. He turns around, intend on weaseling a meal out of the older Exorcist before he feels his head being hit hard and falls to the ground.

“Allen—Oh, you guys again? Give it a rest.”

Another grunt of pain is heard and a following thud as Allen's bleary eyes fall shut.


End file.
